Looking back on my school life before secondary education, there’s one thing that stands out in every single school report I had: “Kathryn would do much better at school if she talked less in class.” Every report implied that I was capable of so much more than I was achieving, and that if I only put in a little more effort or stopped talking so much, I could really excel. Music was my thing, though. It was the one area where I felt good, where I could lose myself. I had very little interest in anything else.
I can still remember my father coming into my primary school one day to speak to the headmaster. I’m not sure if it was because of one of these reports or perhaps a complaint from the teachers, but the whole situation sticks with me. You have to put it into context — this was the 1970s, the early 70s, when corporal punishment was still very much a thing in schools. You could still get “the slipper” or “cane”, which seems bizarre now, doesn’t it? At the very least, teachers might throw a blackboard rubber or a piece of chalk at you. But I remember my dad telling me, under the age of 10, that he had gone to school and told the headmaster they could do whatever was necessary to get me working - to get me on track.
Now, when I think about that, it makes me smile a bit. The attitudes around parenting were so different back then. My dad was firm, clear in his belief that teachers had his full support to do whatever it took to get me to perform to my maximum potential. Fast forward to today, and it feels like the dynamic has shifted entirely. So often, parents are now looking for a reason or an excuse for their child’s behaviour, and teachers are facing the challenge of not only managing students but also dealing with parents who sometimes place the blame on teachers rather than supporting them. It’s a whole different world now - a lifetime away from those days.
Then, fast forward to secondary school. As children, we moved around quite a bit because of my father’s job. Both my brother and I ended up changing schools quite early on. We moved from our first secondary school within the first year - maybe even within the first six months — to a new town, a new county. I know this had a significant impact on both of us, shaping how we functioned at school and who we became. For me, those early school years were already complicated enough, but this constant change added another layer to it.
For me, moving schools caused a lot of problems in the first few months. The fear of rejection was overwhelming, and I didn’t cope with it particularly well. It led to behaviours that would stick with me for the rest of my school years. My secondary education, in particular, was tough. There were subjects I loved, like Music and English Language, but in general, my school life was full of underachieving and trouble. I was constantly getting into some kind of mischief, whether at school or at home. There were times when my dad had to go into school to speak to the headmaster or the deputy head. None of my behaviour was outrageous, but I couldn’t seem to toe the line. I struggled with following rules and getting things done, which led to issues with my schoolwork.
I remember being given a homework diary that my parents had to sign every week, because I wasn’t doing my homework. It was clear that this was impacting my school performance. The subjects that required good attention, retention and memory skills were the ones I struggled with the most. History, geography, languages — I was awful at them. Looking back now, it’s obvious that I just wasn’t interested in those subjects, and I didn’t have the drive to engage with them. I had no interest in the sciences, history, or geography, and definitely didn’t care about learning another language. In classes of 31, I was often ranked in the bottom 5% for those subjects. Even in the subjects that I loved, I still underachieved, and was constantly being told that I was capable of so much more.
My school reports summed it up really. We have to bear in mind that this was the late 70's early 80'. No messing around with statements taken from comment banks, just touching on how a child is performing academically against benchmarks in the curriculum. These were the days when reports were about 3 or 4 sententces, handwritten and brutally honest and included statements like:
“The storm clouds are gathering, which is a shame given her ability”
“Kathryn is capable of so much more than she is prepared to give”
“Kathryn’s standard will soon improve when she learns to concentrate. She is too easily distracted which causes errors.”
“Kathryn is inclined to be brash at times”
“I am disappointed in view of her known ability”
“Kathryn has developed a rather unfortunate attitude to work. She will avoid it if she can. Her classroom behaviour is deteriorating”.
I believe that there were a few warning signs that were missed here, and have caused me to reflect on what could have been done differently if I had been better understood and teachers better informed.
In my next blog post I will talk about the social aspect of my childhood, so look out for Part 7b of “The storm clouds are gathering!”